To Speak or Not to Speak That is the Question

Everyone, especially some woman more than others, have experienced some form of unprofessional behavior at the workplace at some time or another.  Whether you work with people who are too gregarious for you, or perhaps too conservative for you, some form of miss hit in communication  has happened to everyone.  When is enough enough? Do you feel the urge to speak up or not to speak up? For many it is a struggle whether to say yea, or nay, and then put it behind them.  What happens if you are at a doctor’s office and they are too personal with you, making sexually related jokes, and perhaps even come on to you?  Is your first instinct to speak up or shut up?  While many may first sit there in shock and dismay (understandably), it’s not always clear cut and dry what to do next.  If you do nothing sometimes the feeling and interpretation is if they didn’t say anything either way the behavior can continue.  If you speak up your intentions and feelings are clear – no questioning if it’s okay or not okay behavior with you.  I’ve found that in my own experiences and what I’ve learned in Graduate school about communicating, is that speaking up is better than not speaking up at all.  Avoidance theory doesn’t solve problems or awkward situations, it avoids, or delays the closure that is always needed to resolve any feelings of hurt, sadness, dismay, whatsoever. If anything it is a temporary relief that eventually leads to grief.   It is far better to confront someone immediately after the situation than say, wait two or more years, hoping their feelings may change.  It maybe harder for some people whose first instinct is to cower away and pretend nothing happened.   But you will feel better being sincere, apologizing if you are the one who should be apologizing (and you would know this) and or making it known you want an apology over hurt feelings of one kind or another that can linger on for years.   Be strong, be sincere, and speak up.  Even if all doesn’t work out the way you would have liked it to in the end, say the one with questionable behavior never really apologizes to you or admits their true feelings or intentions, at least you did and will be able to move on from  what was once an awkward situation.


The Census – Stand Up and Be Counted

So every ten years since 1790 the U.S. has taken a census.  Gathering of statistical information on home owners, occupiers, renters, and such.  The U.S. Constitution mandates that all citizens must comply.  Census takers, or Enumerators, are sworn to uphold and protect all the confidential information they gather and not to divulge it to anyone, other than the U.S. Department of Commerce who they temporarily work for, for 72 years.  Yes that is right, 72 years.  How many of us will be around in another 72?  I seriously doubt I will unless they come up with some sort of time suspension or time machine in the next 30 years or so… There are 88 geographical areas across the country that will be assessed door to door.  Out on Eastern LI is one such region.  Most areas of the U.S. will be done by mail or phone follow-up.  Accordingly federal dollars, as much as $2000 per person and Congressional representation is on the line for this time.  Funny commercials at the beginning of the year heralded the coming of the Census – A snapshot of America!  Where a very funny actress portraying a wardrobe person said,” I can do it if they give me my left-handed scissors.”  Now what’s not funny about that.  So spring ahead and be counted.  Real dollars and local politics that turn into regional politics then national politics are all in play.